Walking in My Shoes

Tuesday night, exhausted by the home move, I feel like dressing up, putting on makeup, and going out. Speed dating is a good option.
10 single men and women, all looking to meet someone and have a great night out. Well-presented club, dimmed lights, drinks on the table. Women are assigned a table for the evening while men circulate. You have 4 minutes for a conversation, after which you add the person’s name and badge number to your scorecard. You tick Yes if you would like to see that person again, or No for an apparent reason.

“Hello, my name is Yana. How many of those events have you attended?” I asked the first contestant.
“About 8–12.”
“And you are still coming back?” I was seriously curious.
“I haven’t met the right person yet.”

I asked everyone the same question. Sounded like most people were regulars and knew the organiser very well. What brings them over and over again to these events? Hope to meet someone special, something to do on Tuesday night, or just being lonely.

All my non-single friends were waiting for the full report and wanted to know, “Is 4 minutes enough to understand if you like someone? Is it enough for an initial introduction?” Einstein’s theory of relativity came to mind. Four minutes was just right for some and extremely long for others.

I have not met anyone special, and I did not have any follow-up dates. I also would not be going back to another one of those. Tuesday night speed dating served my primary purpose—to go out on a whim and have a new experience. But, like online dating, it didn’t work for me in terms of finding a potential partner.

As I mentioned before, I am an extroverted introvert. I can talk to anyone, but obligatory small talk bores me. The speed dating concept sounds too much like organised, planned dating, which I find less appealing than spontaneous, natural interactions.

Despite my personal reservations, I see the value that some can get from this unique experience. It’s a chance to meet new people, have engaging conversations, and find a connection. To start with, you don’t have many opportunities to get 10 single men in the same room.

For me, I still believe in the magic of random encounters. There’s a certain charm in unexpected meetings, and these often lead to more genuine connections than those formed in structured settings like speed dating.

With Love as Always,
Yana De Lilac